A Good Day
Today was a good day. One of those days you want to etch in your mind. Remember the smiles on their faces, and how the wind caught their hair. I want to hang on to today. The sound of their laughter bubbling up. When I compare today with past days I can smile and see just how far we've come.
When our littlest was "new" to our family she took in all the songs we sang or games we played some what in awe, as she had not experienced those things before. She was like a tiny sponge learning how to do everything, even play with another child. Those things had not been a part of her existence. Too soon the newness wore off and the trauma grew as she had to tell and re-tell her story. She became easily angered and massive tantrums were a part of every day.
We would sit down to do something that should be fun, like play a family game, but the joy would be sucked out. If she lost, she became a screaming tyrant. If she didn't like that someone else landed on a good spot she'd cry hysterically because she wanted that spot or that card. She'd routinely throw down whatever part of the game she was holding and stomp off screaming about how stupid the game was and how she was never going to play again. There were times that we sent her to her room, which made her scream all the louder to make sure we didn't forget she was there. Even "time ins" didn't always do the trick. Things that we would normally do for these behaviors did not work for her. She'd just become more of a mess. Family games, family time in general became more of a let down and a stressor than a joy.
BUT, we didn't give up. We didn't decide not to have game time or make gingerbread houses, or go on bike rides or walk around the block, all of which led to her screaming protests. We decided we needed to remember her brain was not her chronological age. I took this little girl in my arms, who was acting like a toddler, and held her. I would say, "Yes, it's disappointing when you don't win. You were really hoping to win, weren't you. But you know what it's okay. We all win sometimes and loose some times." We had to teach her to be a "good sport" at games and to congratulate the winner. Even if it was through massive tears. We had to be patient with her. I continually had to remind my other children that even if she looked old enough to know how to act right, she was never taught, so we needed to teach her and model for her and congratulate her along the way.
We are still learning, and still working on so much. Walks around the block still end up with her sitting down at some point crying about how she can't walk another step because her legs are too tired. Though she can run in the next second if she wants to. Going on bike rides still usually end in tears. Making ginger bread houses or cookies she still fights over what she gets to pour or measure or touch. We will keep working on those. BUT... today we celebrate. Today we played a family game of UNO and had fun.
She lost multiple games and there were no tears. She thought she was going to win many times and as UNO goes she ended up drawing more cards, and not one complaint came out of her mouth. At one point I laid down a wild and picked a new color and she actually squealed with laughter and hugged my arm and said, "Oh thank you Mommy, I love that color." Which made all of us giggle.
I looked around the table at my family. All of us together, all of us with smiles on our faces. This was something to celebrate. We were doing it, we were actually all enjoying each other's company. As simple as that may sound, it has been rare over the last year and a half that all 6 of us have been able to have a good time, all together. It was so good, we played 8 rounds of UN, and even kept score. After everyone was a sleep I sat reflecting with joy in my heart. This has been a good day and I praise God for it. In these little things, like playing a family game, God shows me the changing hearts and the growth. He gives me hope for the future and reminds me how far we've come. I praise the Lord for his goodness and faithfulness as he leads us, even in the little things.
When our littlest was "new" to our family she took in all the songs we sang or games we played some what in awe, as she had not experienced those things before. She was like a tiny sponge learning how to do everything, even play with another child. Those things had not been a part of her existence. Too soon the newness wore off and the trauma grew as she had to tell and re-tell her story. She became easily angered and massive tantrums were a part of every day.
We would sit down to do something that should be fun, like play a family game, but the joy would be sucked out. If she lost, she became a screaming tyrant. If she didn't like that someone else landed on a good spot she'd cry hysterically because she wanted that spot or that card. She'd routinely throw down whatever part of the game she was holding and stomp off screaming about how stupid the game was and how she was never going to play again. There were times that we sent her to her room, which made her scream all the louder to make sure we didn't forget she was there. Even "time ins" didn't always do the trick. Things that we would normally do for these behaviors did not work for her. She'd just become more of a mess. Family games, family time in general became more of a let down and a stressor than a joy.
BUT, we didn't give up. We didn't decide not to have game time or make gingerbread houses, or go on bike rides or walk around the block, all of which led to her screaming protests. We decided we needed to remember her brain was not her chronological age. I took this little girl in my arms, who was acting like a toddler, and held her. I would say, "Yes, it's disappointing when you don't win. You were really hoping to win, weren't you. But you know what it's okay. We all win sometimes and loose some times." We had to teach her to be a "good sport" at games and to congratulate the winner. Even if it was through massive tears. We had to be patient with her. I continually had to remind my other children that even if she looked old enough to know how to act right, she was never taught, so we needed to teach her and model for her and congratulate her along the way.
We are still learning, and still working on so much. Walks around the block still end up with her sitting down at some point crying about how she can't walk another step because her legs are too tired. Though she can run in the next second if she wants to. Going on bike rides still usually end in tears. Making ginger bread houses or cookies she still fights over what she gets to pour or measure or touch. We will keep working on those. BUT... today we celebrate. Today we played a family game of UNO and had fun.
She lost multiple games and there were no tears. She thought she was going to win many times and as UNO goes she ended up drawing more cards, and not one complaint came out of her mouth. At one point I laid down a wild and picked a new color and she actually squealed with laughter and hugged my arm and said, "Oh thank you Mommy, I love that color." Which made all of us giggle.
I looked around the table at my family. All of us together, all of us with smiles on our faces. This was something to celebrate. We were doing it, we were actually all enjoying each other's company. As simple as that may sound, it has been rare over the last year and a half that all 6 of us have been able to have a good time, all together. It was so good, we played 8 rounds of UN, and even kept score. After everyone was a sleep I sat reflecting with joy in my heart. This has been a good day and I praise God for it. In these little things, like playing a family game, God shows me the changing hearts and the growth. He gives me hope for the future and reminds me how far we've come. I praise the Lord for his goodness and faithfulness as he leads us, even in the little things.
Comments
Post a Comment