Mother's Day

Mother's day is linked with both joy and sorrow as I'm sure it is for many people.  Sometimes the sorrow is due to the death of a mother or a child. Other times sorrow comes from wishing for a mother "worthy" of the many hallmark sayings or wishing to be a mother receiving a happy mother's day wish.

I have stood in many of these places.  Years ago after miscarrying our second time mother's day was approaching and all I could do was cry.  I desperately wanted to be a mother, to be recognized as a mother, yet to the world I was barren.  I knew I had two precious babies in heaven, but that did not fill my arms here on earth. I ached to have a child and I cried through the Mother's Day service on Hannah who like me often cried out to the Lord for a child.

After my first precious daughter was born, for my first official mother's day my husband presented me with a beautiful plate of me holding my new baby while she was still in the NICU.  It's a very precious plate that I will cherish forever.  I hope one day to round out my collection and have a plate for each of my children.  That mother's day I felt elated. I was finally a mother to children here on earth, and I was recognized as a mother by others.  I didn't have to feel a heavy heart that day. 

While my parents are living I unfortunately do not have a relationship with my mother.  She walked away from me many years ago and has never met 2 of her three grandchildren.  Every year holidays bring to mind the mother I worry about. I do not know where she is or even if she's alive.  Months turn into years and every once in a while I'll learn through a short email that she's okay.  Mother's day is especially hard.  I look at all the cards lining every store and I know she does not even have an address that I know that I could send a card to.  I read countless e-greetings only to be burdened of heart again.  I can't say things about her being a wonderful mother or a best friend. I can only say I love you, thinking of you and hope you're safe, where ever you are.

If you are a woman that is saddened by Mother's Day, either because of wishing for a child or wishing for a mother, know you are not alone.  I pray that you will feel the peace of God and that this day will not be a day filled with sorrow but that you may experience HIS joys and HIS love.  I'd like to wish you a happy mother's day whether your child is in the Lord's arms or in yours.  I'd like to wish you a Happy Mother's day whether your mother is the classic hallmark card or nonexistent.  May you have a blessed day knowing that it is a gift ~another day to be apart of the amazing creation of our Heavenly Father.


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