Saturday, May 10, 2014

Mother's Day

Mother's day is linked with both joy and sorrow as I'm sure it is for many people.  Sometimes the sorrow is due to the death of a mother or a child. Other times sorrow comes from wishing for a mother "worthy" of the many hallmark sayings or wishing to be a mother receiving a happy mother's day wish.

I have stood in many of these places.  Years ago after miscarrying our second time mother's day was approaching and all I could do was cry.  I desperately wanted to be a mother, to be recognized as a mother, yet to the world I was barren.  I knew I had two precious babies in heaven, but that did not fill my arms here on earth. I ached to have a child and I cried through the Mother's Day service on Hannah who like me often cried out to the Lord for a child.

After my first precious daughter was born, for my first official mother's day my husband presented me with a beautiful plate of me holding my new baby while she was still in the NICU.  It's a very precious plate that I will cherish forever.  I hope one day to round out my collection and have a plate for each of my children.  That mother's day I felt elated. I was finally a mother to children here on earth, and I was recognized as a mother by others.  I didn't have to feel a heavy heart that day. 

While my parents are living I unfortunately do not have a relationship with my mother.  She walked away from me many years ago and has never met 2 of her three grandchildren.  Every year holidays bring to mind the mother I worry about. I do not know where she is or even if she's alive.  Months turn into years and every once in a while I'll learn through a short email that she's okay.  Mother's day is especially hard.  I look at all the cards lining every store and I know she does not even have an address that I know that I could send a card to.  I read countless e-greetings only to be burdened of heart again.  I can't say things about her being a wonderful mother or a best friend. I can only say I love you, thinking of you and hope you're safe, where ever you are.

If you are a woman that is saddened by Mother's Day, either because of wishing for a child or wishing for a mother, know you are not alone.  I pray that you will feel the peace of God and that this day will not be a day filled with sorrow but that you may experience HIS joys and HIS love.  I'd like to wish you a happy mother's day whether your child is in the Lord's arms or in yours.  I'd like to wish you a Happy Mother's day whether your mother is the classic hallmark card or nonexistent.  May you have a blessed day knowing that it is a gift ~another day to be apart of the amazing creation of our Heavenly Father.


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